Checklist Charlie
Be amibitious grandparent
CATHY KRAFVE

When I grow up, I'm going to be a grandparent. That's my motto. My big ambition.

I habitually point out every baby in the grocery store, just in case my own children aren't catching all my other subtle hints.

My husband encouraged me to stop making a fuss over babies since young moms might think I was some kind of stalker.

Moms tend to smile nervously at me as I coo, then push their cart quickly away.

I also turn all mushy when I see grandparents out with their grandchildren.

Have you ever noticed how all grandparents say the same thing?

"Grandchildren are wonderful; you can spoil them and then give them back to their parents."

I can't wait.

I have a young friend who lets me pretend to be her grandmother. This is a very fun game.

She gives me useful information about what grandmothers are supposed to be like.

In the meantime, I am gathering as many hints as I can from folks who seem to grandparent well. Here are the common themes:

! Have fun together. "You are my favorite person in the world to be with."

! Be their confidante. "Yes, your mother drives me crazy, too, but please remember what a terrible mother she had." Say that with a big smile and see how long it takes that sweet little one to figure out the joke.

!Back up the parents. "God will most certainly judge your parents some day, but in the meantime you should obey them and wait to see what happens next. I believe they have your best interests at heart.

And who knows, maybe lightening will strike." This happens to be my personal favorite.

!Encourage them. "You are amazing. I've never seen such a talented child. I am so proud of you."

! Let them know that your love is unconditional. "All people make mistakes, darling.' Think how ancient I am and just how many mistakes I've made. I have experience, I can help you with this."

Here in East Texas, there are many folks who have the grandparenting thing down pat.

One grandmother told me years ago that she spent as much time as she could with her grandkids when they were little, so that they would listen to her when they reached the junior high years.

I can tell ya that she opened up her home and her heart to those grandkids frequently over the years. Real frequently.

Guess what?

Now those grandkids are in high school and college and they call her to see if they can invite their friends over to her house.

They've been having birthday and graduation parties at Nonny's house lately; clean-cut affairs with water sports, but no alcohol.

I am inspired by her attitude.

There's another attitude, though, that tends to get grandparents in trouble. Retired folks may think that their work is over and now it is their turn to play.

Teenagers and seniors can have that attitude in common in our culture.

As a culture, we tend to let both groups off the hook.

We make excuses for the irresponsible things teenagers do and we give retired folks permission to be self-centered, too. Hmm .

A little play time sounds pretty good about now, I'll admit.

It's okay to have fun. There's a lot of joy to be had in life and we should be thankful for those times, of course.

All I'm saying is, if you've finished raising your kids, why not put that experience to use by blessing your children and grandchildren?

I realize that families can live miles away or sometimes a strain between the grownups makes it difficult to see the little ones.

Still, why not build time into your senior years to focus on the young people in your life, either your own grandkids or someone who needs adopted grandparents?

Young people always bring energy, passion, and joy into our lives, not to mention a good laugh or two at the parents' expense.

Sounds like a ton of fun for the ambitious grandparent.

!

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in beautiful East Texas with her family. She welcomes all comments, suggestions, and lists at CAEKrafve2@aol.com