Checklist Charlie
Understanding the `ism' in alcoholism
CATHY KRAFVE

"It's not the alcohol that gets you, but the ism," say my anonymous friends who are in Alcoholics Anonymous.

AA folks have a zillion little sayings, or, as one friend put it, "These people talk in bumper stickers!"

I like it when they pass their wisdom my way, but sometimes it takes me awhile to unravel the meanings. Usually until something trips me up again and then I get it.

I had a run in with the ism this year.

I was standing in my kitchen alone.

Alone, that's important to note.

I reached to the back of a high cabinet where my husband hides the Jack Daniels he uses to marinate steaks.

I poured a coffee cup full.

Coffee cup, catch that?

In the quiet, I heard my own thoughts.

"It's been a tough time. I need this drink. It will make me feel better. I deserve this because I am so hurt. If I have a drink, I'll be less stressed."

Good grief.

This is not the first time the ism has tried to trip me up.

I am happy to report that I poured the whiskey down the sink and put the coffee cup in the dishwasher.

I put on my tennis shoes and went for a brisk walk.

There are more productive ways to deal with stress, hurt feelings, and the aches and pains of life.

"All alcoholics must reach some sort of bottom or be beat down by alcohol to the point that they realize that not they, nor their doctor, nor anyone else, can solve their alcohol problem," writes one of my anonymous friends.

"Then, when approached by another alcoholic, they are ready to listen. Although group therapy plays a major role in the recovery of an alcoholic, a belief in God - a higher power or some spiritual belief - is the key to unlock the door for the treatment of this disease.

By attending meetings, getting a sponsor - someone to guide them through the 12 steps of recovery - they learn how to live a productive and happy life," adds my friend.

If you are looking for friend who understands the ism, Alcoholics Anonymous is a great place to meet one.

Harvey Convention Center was packed recently with folks who view the disease as serious, many of whom are not alcoholics themselves, to celebrate the 61st anniversary of Tyler AA.

The anniversary event is pulled together each year by a variety of individuals.

Some are alcoholics who have been in recovery for years and some have just recently hit rock bottom.

There are kind-hearted men and women, called al anons, who suffer as they live with a loved one who thinks alcohol is the answer to life's problems.

If you missed the event, it is not too late to call AA Central Service in Tyler at 903-597-1796 and ask what help is available.

Besides all the laughter and fellowship experienced at the anniversary, there was also a lot of wisdom delivered in the form of stories, personal experiences, and, yes, quite a few sayings.

So, what is the ism exactly?

That's a great question.

As best as I can tell, it's what gets us in trouble with alcohol in the first place.

Some problems are really painful; it is just easier to soak our problems in something on the rocks.

! Could the ism be our own fear about trying something different in life or in relationships?

! Could it be taking the easy way out by blaming others?

! Could it be nursing our wounds and our self-pity?

! Could it be the habitually dysfunctional ways we respond to our loved ones? Or the way we provoke the folks we love?

! Could it be a lack of courage to tell the truth?

Truth is hard sometimes. It takes courage to acknowledge to oneself that alcoholism is a physical disease that is a byproduct of internal problems. Lots of courage.

It also takes integrity. Maybe mixed with a dose of desperation.

There is an antidote to the ism that is able to saturate our lives with wholesomeness and humility, instead of alcohol.

It often begins with 12 steps. It is easier with friends who get it.

If you have anything to add to this discussion, I'd love to hear from you.

!

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in East Texas with her family. She welcomes all lists and comments at CAEKrafve2 @aol.com.