Give the gift of generosity
CATHY KRAFVE Checklist Charlie

Last year, my son got a waffle iron for Christmas.

No technology, nothing computerized.

Just a waffle iron.

Suffice it to say, somebody had a bad attitude for awhile before Christmas.

Okay, maybe it was somebody and both his parents.

Anyway, his birthday is in early December, so the attitude was not a big surprise.

For his birthday party last year, I went to Walmart and bought 10 blankets, one for each of his years.

Then, we, just he and I, delivered them to PATH in honor of his birthday.

By the way, when I asked his permission to publishing this article, he gave me a quote that the idea for a PATH birthday party is "the dumbest thing on earth," but otherwise my column this week was fine.

PATH, People Attempting To Help, in Tyler, is a nonprofit group that provides food and other services to folks who need help.

I took my son there with a perfectly sweet attitude last year. I figure with a thirtyeight year head start on the boy, I can afford to be sweet even when I am fed up.

My age often turns out to be to my advantage.

I understand there are long-range consequences to my daily decisions as a parent.

There is still plenty of stuff he just doesn't know yet.

This understanding gives me confidence and perseverance.

My husband likes to say, "I'll take the blame now because it will be credit later."

The PATH trip caught my son by surprise.

It was not like any birthday party he'd ever been to.

Also, it did wonders for his attitude.

Not to mention his mom's.

I've been polling my friends with the question, "How do you teach your kiddoes to be generous, rather than spoiled?" Here are some of the answers.

! It's about mentoring. They have to see that you enjoy giving.

! We give out of a grateful heart. Teach your kids to be thankful and they will feel that they have plenty to share.

! Point out the long term benefits in the lives of those around them when we share or make sacrifices for each other.

! Teach them to want what is best for their siblings and they will work to help each other.

! Plan a secret gift. Let them enjoy the thrill of dropping it off and making a quick get away.

! Let them experience wanting, or better yet needing, something for awhile, so they can appreciate how much it means to receive something you really need.

There's a difference between giving and sacrificing. It is a good thing to think about this time of year.

Giving is sharing out of the abundance of what we have.

Sacrificing is giving away something that we really need for ourselves.

Of course, giving is what we mostly do in this country where even the middle class is rich by the standard of the rest of the world.

I always tell my kids that if they have two pairs of shoes, they are rich because they can only wear one pair at a time.

Actually, having two feet that work could be considered a wealth when you think about it the right way.

In our homes, we make sacrifices every day, but they are not usually the material kind.

We make a decision to love patiently as little ones grow up slowly and it costs us in endurance.

We make the tough decisions because it is best for a teenager and then we weather the repercussions.

We love in the face of family baggage that can include rejection, dysfunction, controlling, you name it.

This year, my son and I get to buy 11 blankets. I'm thankful for that.

And I'm thankful for the maturity I see forming in my son's heart.

Yeah, I guess I'll even plan a real birthday party for him, too, this year.

He'll be thrilled which will make it 10 times more fun for his parents, too.

Last year, the thank you note from PATH came addressed to my son.

He loved getting mail with his name on it.

He even thought it was cool when they sent him a letter asking for another donation.

It made him feel grownup.

That's pretty sweet stuff when you think about it. He'll grow up fast enough.

The best part is, it turns out he makes terrific waffles and he loves surprising us with breakfast.

May you and I give the best gifts this year.

!

Cathy Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives with her family in East Texas. She welcomes all comments and lists at CAEKrafve2 @aol.com.