Say no; make children happy
CATHY KRAFVE Checklist Charlie

We used to joke that one of our kids would be back for "nine more no's."

The first no was never enough for her; that child definitely has a future in sales.

Seems like every family has at least one child who won't take no for an answer.

As a parent, sometimes it is exhausting to hold your ground.

It is one of the most loving things you can do for your kiddoes, though.

This simple, two-letter word communicates a vast amount of information to a child.

It tells him that:

! he is special and different and worth the extra attention,

! he is too valuable to you to take chances,

! you are willing to take a hit for your principles with the other parents who will probably not get it,

! you are willing to do the hard, thankless work of living with an unhappy child when all the other parents say yes.

In other words, you are willing to make the personal sacrifices required to do what you believe is right because he is worth it.

Nothing communicated love like personal sacrifice.

There's a balance here, obviously.

Children need to have fun, but it seems our culture leans pretty far towards fun and selfindulgence.

Saying no is the antidote to kids who are spoiled rotten.

Saying no also has the added value of clarifying family

objectives.

When you say no to something that seems popular with everyone else, you are essentially saying that your family is committed to other purposes.

This sets you apart as a family.

It gives your child the chance to take on a special identity.

It teaches him that, like Dad and Mom, he too, can stand apart from the crowd when necessary.

Consequently, your children learn to resist peer pressure as they see Dad and Mom do it.

And that sounds a lot like apprenticeship parenting, so I guess we've come full circle.

When a child feels alone he is a sitting duck for discouragement and rebellion.

On the other hand, apprenticeship parenting, clarifying family objectives and saying no will go along way to giving your child a sense of identity.

He will know he is loved by parents willing to make sacrifices for him.

Don't be surprised if your child skips the rebellious stage altogether.

!

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in East Texas with her family. She welcomes all comments and lists at CaeKrafve2 @aol.com.