BHS to host dating violence seminar
By Lori Mellinger editor@bullardnews.com

Studies say one in three teens experience some kind of abuse in dating or relationships, and Bullard High School principal Scott Franks is trying to address it with both parents and students.

The school is hosting a dating violence workshop - open to parents, guardians and student for grades kindergarten through 12 - to help address the issue.

Domestic Violence Program Coordinator Lisa Lee Forman, of the Crisis Center of Cherokee and Anderson Counties, will be guest speaker for the program, set for 6:30 p.m. Oct. 25 at the school.

"Alarmingly one in four teenage girls who have been in relationships said they have been subjected to unwanted pressure," Forman said. "And it's not just happening to girls."

Forman said more and more boys are reporting similar behavior, but statistics are more difficult to gather.

"Cultural assumptions make it harder for them to seek and receive help," she said.

Which is why, Franks said, a program like this is helpful to student, parents and even other interested community members who are invited to attend.

Forman said the program would be broken up - with one specifically for parents, followed by a program for students.

She said there are definite warning signs to teach children - even as early as elementary age - but parents must be educated, as well.

"One of the keys to the program is to keep communication open," Forman said.

The program uses a DVD entitled, "Choose Respect," with a longer one for parents.

"We have more expert opinions in theirs," she said. "And we try to keep the students' video shorter."

Following both, there is a question and answer session.

"There are certain themes common in abusive relationships," she said. "The biggest issue both parents and friends should look for is a pattern of isolation.

"There will be changes in behavior, and it's usually friends who notice first."

Forman said over and over she asks students what they would do if they were hit on a date, and invariably, the answer is "walk away."

But it's more complicated than that.

"Abusers don't start out that way," she said. "They begin first by isolating the victim, and technology plays a big part in it.

While a victim may be involved in lots of extracurricular activities, when he or she becomes involved in a controlling relationship, the first thing that happens is the victim begins to drop out, she said.

"They wait for instant messages, phone calls, text messages from the abuser," she said. "It's an ongoing and manipulative process where the victim is lulled into the relationship and - only when it's too late do things get really bad."

Friends are key, she said.

"We really want to stress that the first to notice are the friends, and give these friends instructions on how to help," Forman said.

The class is an ongoing effort and partnership forged between the crisis center and Bullard ISD.

"I've met with principals of all the schools and the superintendent," Forman said. "They've all been very receptive, and we've held several assemblies dealing with issues ranging from Internet safety to bullying."

For more information on the program, call Franks or assistant principal Cheryl Hendrix at 903-894-3272.

Door prizes will be handed out at the event.

At a glance:

Bullard High School is hosting a dating violence workshop - open to parents, guardians and student for grades kindergarten through 12 beginning at 6:30 p.m. Oct. 25 at the school. Domestic Violence Program Coordinator Lisa Lee Forman, of the Crisis Center of Cherokee and Anderson Counties, will be guest speaker for the program. For more information on the program, call Franks or assistant principal Cheryl Hendrix at 903-894-3272. Door prizes will be handed out at the event.