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Opinion September 12th, 2007
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COLUMN
Golfing: The addictive sport
CATHY KRAFVE Checklist Charlie

Have you ever noticed how addictive golf is?

Well, only a non-golfer would even ask such a silly question, right?

What is it about the sport that inspires such fierce determination to commit to the pursuit of a ball clearly sized for the sole purpose of making a person crazy?

Obsession is the only word to describe it.

How is it after only a few short months as a columnist, I find that I have already devoted so many column inches to a game I have never played?

I find myself inserting the g-word into my writing simply because it ensures that some fellow golf-obsessed reader out there will be sure to email me.

Am I really that desperate for mail or is it just that the sport holds the irresistible promise of camaraderie?

Clearly, there is a need for Golfers Anonymous. Since I am obviously not the first person to think of it, I researched the idea on the Internet.

Did you know that there were endless results for the entry "golfers anonymous?"

I think some of them were even serious. Really.

There are even several entries for Disc Golfers Anonymous.

Actually, that one didn't surprise me that much. I know some of those disc golfers and they've got a serious obsession.

Personally, I think we need to start a chapter of GA in East Texas.

That will give us the perfect excuse to come together and discuss our common handicap. For spouses, there needs to be a Golf Anon so that they can deal with the consequences of being emotionally abandoned in favor of the links. Of course, if you are a golfer or the spouse of a golfer, you already know that there are endless self-help books related to golf.

Has anyone coined the acronym OCGD, i.e. obsessive/compulsive golf disorder? I hate to treat the subject lightly because this could be serious.

I think we should start a self-help group for OCGD sufferers.

We could establish a magazine with helpful articles and we could write pamphlets. I volunteer to write them for free, not that I'm obsessed or anything.

We could form a non-profit organization and hold golf tournaments as fundraisers.

Um, well, okay, maybe not.

As a writer with some experience in the course that addictive behaviors take, I was encouraged to see so much help available on the net.

One of my favorite listings stated that: "Golfers Anonymous is a fellowship of hackers who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem …."

I tried to visit their web site, but apparently it was down. I suspect those folks are too busy picking out their next set of clubs to update their website.

I also learned that PGA stands for Poor Golfer's Anonymous, just in case you didn't already know it - probably because the cost of clubs diminishes the wallet rather quickly.

So, what is the real issue is behind a golf obsession?

Undoubtedly, it has to be the golf cart.

Where is the sane person who can resist such a sporty little temptation?

Obviously, no one can really be in recovery from golf until they can give up a ride in the cart.

True recovery definitely has to include resisting the urge to sit behind the wheel and floor it.

In order to recover from Obsessive Compulsive Golf Disorder, I can only add the following advice; it is necessary to take it one swing at a time…no, no, I meant one day at a time. Really.

Now, I'm not intending to hurt anyone's feelings by writing facetiously about something that really could be a real problem.

Silly me, all this time I just thought it was a game that provided the perfect excuse to walk around outside with your buddies and drive those darling little carts.

Feel free to write in and educate me.

You know, if you write in with your reasons to break free of OCGD, that could be another excuse for a list about my new favorite subject, do I dare say it, golf.

If you are not quiet ready to recover from golf yet, check here next week for the Reader's Checklist of Favorite East Texas Golf Courses.

And it is not too late to send me your

list of favorite courses.

!

Cathy Primer Krafve lives with her family in East Texas where the beautiful lakes, rolling green hills and occasional sandy spots make it golfing paradise. Contact her at CAEKrafve2@aol.com.