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Through back-to-school blues
CATHY KRAFVE Checklist Charlie

Each year the thrill of buying school supplies offsets the dread of returning to the classroom for many children.

Along with new school supplies, there is the pure anticipation of meeting the new teacher on the first day of class.

It seems that in every family, there is at least one child that struggles with school.

If that child is heading off to middle school, the pressure can be even greater. Learning is about more than academics.

Even if the academics come easily, interpersonal nuances can still be tricky for some students.

Here's a list of ideas to pass along that might help make the middle school years a fabulous experience.

! Notice what people are wearing. Adopt the motto "No flash, no trash" when it comes to your clothes because clothing may just be the wrapping on the package, but it does communicate.

Decide which message you want to send about yourself.

Look for friends who don't let peer pressure dictate what they should wear. These will be the kids in "normal" clothes.

! Evaluate your current friends.

Ask the question "Is that person a real friend or really a foe?" A real friend wants what is best for you.

A person who wants to get in trouble with you is really a foe, even if they don't mean to be. A foe wants you to do what will be bad for your future.

! Don't even let your "foes" know you are on to their tricks. Politely "disengage," if they approach you with bad attitudes or ideas.

Ease away politely, but quickly, realizing that when they get their act together they could become a good friend, but not today.

! Smile and Listen. Be kind to the people who drive you crazy.

Later, when you are grown up, you won't have a guilty conscience about being rude. Be polite to everybody.

! Stand up for the underdog because it's the right thing to do. You'll be proud of yourself.

! Always say good things about people.

This will teach your friends to trust you.

They will know that you never say bad things behind anyone's back.

! Get to know your teachers. Don't let our age-segregated culture keep you from having friends of all ages. Many teachers have tender hearts and funny personalities. They make great friends now and in the long run.

! Have a reputation for being smart. How? By being the kid that always sits on the front row.

On the first day of class, ask the teacher, "What do I have to do to make an 'A' in your class?"

Get aggressive about learning.

Be willing to tutor other kids. This works even if you find that you have to work hard to get grades.

! Set some goals for the future. Decide what you can do this school year to get closer to your future goals.

Let your teachers know your goals and see if they will tailor some of your assignments to your special interests.

! Dream. So what if your goals change? You still benefit from the work you did last year.

If this year your goals change slightly - or radically - because your dreams are growing, that's okay.

It is a good time to dream and learn and grow and change.

Every one of these points is packed with power and worth the effort. However, getting a student who is not into academics to read a list out of a newspaper might even be a challenge.

On the other hand, planting these ideas in middle school means they will be bearing fruit by college when they will continue to be helpful.

A classroom setting is difficult for some students.

Any help we can offer them is important because, often, the kid who has the most trouble in school turns out to be the adult who is inventive and talented in some unique way.

Our culture depends on these kids to become adults who think outside the box.

God bless the parents who raise them and the teachers who teach them.

!

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, is mom who has educated her kiddoes in any way that worked for each child, often with a lot of help and prayer. She welcomes any comments and ideas for lists at CAEKrafve2@aol.com.